ok, i cant really begin to describe how it shames me to have to come to a forum to ask this, but i need some advice.
So theres this girl that i met in 8th grade and i always wanted to go out with her, but never had the guts to ask her. My friend got to her brfore i did and i was hurt . well i just switched schools and she asked me out, i said yes after about a day of hesitation. She is really skinny and that bugs me a lot, she wanted to hold hands and i just didnt really want to :-? . i feel like if i broke up with her i would feel a lot better. im not sure if its me or her though.
so any advice on what i should do? (by the way, if it matters, im in 10th grade)
One time, I had a crush on a girl in my sophomore year, but I was afraid to ask her out because of possible rejection/humiliation, etc.
Then I realized that I was not afraid that she would say no.
I was afraid that she would say yes.
I was afraid of being successful; of my dreams really coming true; that there was more to life than what I had known before; there were doors I was afraid to open…
Friend, at that age, both your hormones and her hormones are driving you stir-crazy. Comes with the territory… impossible to ignore.
My advice? Treat her as a person. As a friend, and see what you have in common with each other. Make conversation. It’s okay if you fumble 'cuz she will, too. It’s okay if you feel nervous because she does, too. It’s okay if you feel that the world will end, 'cuz it really won’t. Both of you feel the same way, in your own way. So… just talk. Just be friendly.
You may feel like a cheat. But never forget Alfred Hitchcock’s acting advice to Ingrid Bergman:
well, i forgot to include this (which is actually what im having trouble with). but she gave me a note which asks me ‘A) will you hold hands b)will you hug me c)will you kiss me’ . see, i dont really feel comfortable doing either one of those things, and she wants the answer on monday, and today is friday :o . that just kinda freaks me out
if you dont mind breaking up, dont answer. you might not break up, but as i remember, when i forgot to return a note, a friend of mine totally freaked out.
adswer with what youre comforatable with. as cheesy as it is, being yourself works. (that doesnt mean that if youre a gamer, you should constantly talk about games, but to usually not hesitate, and go wit hyour instinct)
oh come on, you wanted to go out with this girl really bad but were too afraid,
then you have the amazing luck of her asking you out, then complain because she wants to express her attraction to you?
give the girl a break, it is somthing really wonderful at that age to have a girl you are attracted to show affection/caring towards you.
embrace that, let her know you enjoy it, and for christ sake hold this girls, hand and give her a hug.
she is in a fragile place like you were in the begining, and she is the one putting herself on the line, and you are disrespecting her.
either give her the same respect/affection in return or let her go and be with a guy who will.
i did this at your age too, and now i can see it was such a waste of time, the earlier you can let caring/love into your life the better your life will be!
Man, I hear ya. I remember that age. If it was me, I would stick with her and work through it. Talk to her about it and let her know how you feel. I know that if it was me and I broke up with her (due to the awkwardness) I would just feel more depressed afterwards.
Seriously, man. Just talk to her about it. OR give one of those things a try. Holding hands and hugging is kinda nice
Speaking from personal experience, I once had a major crush on a swedish girl at my school…damn thing lasted nearly four years. In all that time I never once got the courage to talk to her, not even to say Hello.
I finally got to shake her hand (yeah, you heard me) on the last day of school…what an idiot I was…
Well, you’re obviously quite a nerd because I can relate to my past, and you’re not going to get over these things until you just do it and realize how easy it is.
Holding hands is pretty light you know? You want to wait until you’re 18 to kiss your first girl?
if you do not feel confortable enough to either do any of those 3 things…you might want to end this up here…
or
go on and try to maintain a relation with her (what is the age in 10th grade? I mean, different school system here so I don’t know, 13?), after a few days you’ll be set, if you can’t kiss her or anything, then forget about it. Maintaining a relation that doesn’t make you happy is stupid.
and about not telling her before or stuff like this…I have one thing to say
an answer, either it is good or bad, is better than no answer at all.
well, i used to really want to go out with her. im not really attracted to her a whole lot, she just got out of a relationship though so i kind of feel as though shes maybe using me a little. she cheated on my friend when she went out with him aswell. i think im just trying to find excuses though
^^ sorry, that got posted a few hours late, forgot to press the post button
if i were you i’d take my chances and experience things together. You cant possible know in the future that you might actually grow up and feel more for her. Wont you feel like an ass if you turned down that chance and you might have lost her forever because she moved away to another country and had someone elses’ baby and…er…that may have become a little personal. Apologies. I digressed.
Anyways. Experience the bad so that you may get the good. So what if you dont feel comfortable? Its sometimes good to keep safe but you will never grow unless you take your steps outside of the comfort zone. So what if your heart breaks. You will heal. You will gow. You will be all the better and have at least experienced something you might cherish. We dont seek each other because of the day we break up. It is because of the days before.
well, i used to really want to go out with her. im not really attracted to her a whole lot
Ok, so if you weren’t attracted to her, then why did you want to go out with her? To me this is pretty confusing.
Look, it’s simple; If you aren’t attracted to her then you are wasting her time, and your own…go and blend something, and when you do meet someone you are interested in, you will know it mind body and soul…trust me on this.
M@dcow dude atleast you got to shake her hand
It was the same case with me for last 3 years of my college I had this major crush on a girl, man I badly wanted to talk to her, but never made it :(. And in those 3 years I just managed to get her smile at me :D. And now i dont think I will ever get a good chance to talk with her.
Hold her hand, hug her, squeeze her, kiss her…more if you both are agreeable…
You’re in 10th grade…that makes you, what? 16ish? (in most places in the US, you would be 16 or so, anyway…)
There’s plenty of time for the fat one after you’re married. 30 seems really old…until you’re almost 40.
And, on the cheating front…People only cheat for one reason, and one reason only… Because they are afraid of what the person they’re with will say, think, or how they’ll react if they are told that the person they ‘love’ doesn’t want to be with them anymore…
So, perhaps a little honest discussion about the subject might help…
“I know you cheated on Jens, and I DO NOT want that to happen to me… If ever you want to see someone else, let me know, and that’s OK… We’re both young, and this probably won’t be forever, so when the end comes, whenever it comes, it’ll be OK - but if the end comes and you DON’T tell me, it will NOT be OK. M’Kay?”
Everytime a guy gets a girl, suddenly he thinks he is a player, and can get any girl he wants. Then when he loses the girl, he wonders how he did it.
Once you see her naked, she’ll look a lot better. And if you had a choice to a) see her naked, or b) not see her naked, which would you choose? If the answer is b, break it off now. If not, wait until a, and then make up your mind if it could work.
Treat her like she is hot, and over time, she’ll get hotter.
. well i just switched schools and she asked me out, i said yes after about a day of hesitation. She is really skinny and that bugs me a lot, she wanted to hold hands and i just didnt really want to :-? . i feel like if i broke up with her i would feel a lot better. im not sure if its me or her though.
M@dcow dude atleast you got to shake her hand