Good old sober fun!

Okay, this happened today after work (I sort cherries).

It was a ten hour day (like every ****ing day) and my three friends and myself got off work to find a palette of the cherries we threw away throughout the day available for our taking. Normally, I just steal a half empty box from cold storage (they’re sorted and not nasty) but we said, hell, let’s get us a bag of ****ty cherries.

The thing we ****ty cherries is, you don’t wanna ****ing eat that ****. So what do we do with them? While, some details. This plot is set on the highway coming in from Alberta. It’s easily the busiest road into our small town and usually has a lot of cars on it. But since it’s usually packed, you cannot easily pull over and stop or anything of that sort.

So I immediately decide I’m going to pull a prank I pulled on Emily last year: I rip open some cherries and begin to paint my arms and face. Cherry juice, before it dries, is a nice red and looks quite a bit like blood. Even when it dries, from a distance you’ll think “OH GOD”. With this fake blood dripping down my arms, I stagger around and wave my arms wildly at cars, screaming with every retarded duck step (my pants kept falling down). Already, people are giving me “oh my GOD is he okay!? I can’t stop the car!” looks.

But I’m not done. No, my quick sober mind decides to take it a step further. I start to put cherries in my mouth, spitting out the pits and chewing on the cherry until it becomes a pulp. As cars go by, I fall to the ground, reaching out to my friends, before convulsing and ‘vomiting’ out what looks very much like bloody puke. Doing this all in front of traffic, I get some of the greatest ‘HOLY ****’ looks I have ever seen. We do this all along the highway, deciding to put arms around shoulder and projectile puking at cars. We all stop at the side of the road and vomit our blood at the same time.

Eventually, we get into town. Finally, real people who can’t drive past us. We puke in front of Dairy Queen as some people exit. We throw up at some old ladies feet. Outside the bank, hell, everywhere Downtown. We chill by a crosswalk and do our best Michael Jackson ‘hee hee’ impersonations at people stopped at the red light. Some guy got out the car to hit the cross button so he could move faster. But I hit the opposing one to cut him off. He fingered me. Sucker!

Then my dad picked me up. And that’s the end of my story.

I’m actually surprised you didn’t spend any time in prison for disturbing the peace and pulling a prank that frankly isn’t really funny at all.

Did you not even get attention from the police?


This is even funnier than the original post!

a cop drove past and didn’t care

how is it disturbing the peace and how does it warrant prison time at all

I dunno, I can see how pretending to be seriously injured and vomiting blood might raise some ire if someone decided to call the cops or an ambulance to help you out. If someone had called the cops there would have been some consequences. Cops don’t like having their time wasted by being sent to false calls when their time could be better spent serving and protecting people who actually need serving and protecting. Some kind of “wasting the tax payer’s money” issue.

Bottom line: If cops had been called and sent out to help you, and they found some kid with fake blood all over him, you can bet your ass you would have been picked up by your dad at the station. It IS disturbing the peace when you’re spitting crap all over the sidewalk in front of businesses. They can call the cops on you and you can be picked up for that, especially if you’re doing that to people as they exit the place. I would suggest not doing that anymore.

Sounds pretty stupid to me, distracting drivers on a very busy road. Could have easily caused a crash, especially if someone tryed to stop and see if u were ok.

Nothing wrong with a prank, but uve gotta do it in a semi-sensible place.

Sounds pretty awesome.

I can’t be blamed if a driver is too irresponsible to watch the damn road

You shouldn’t be putting a major test on a driver to see if he’ll watch the road in the first place. If you blame the driver for not watching the road because of some very distractive prank it’d be like Nintendo blaming the gamers who say they hate Mario because they suck at the games.

Sure find someone else to blame, next you’ll be leveling up to stupid lawsuits.

hey, at least you proved that if you really were covered in blood and injured by the side of the road, no one would think that helping you is even worth the time that it takes to call an ambulance.

cool, a prank and a social experiment all in one.

Most Interesting.

Well that’s clearly the case.

contender for worst analogy ever

it’s a two lane highway with shoulders and plenty of areas to pull off with maybe five cars every fifteen seconds. it was no problem.

That is most funny! I remember a group of kids acting like they were pulling a rope across the road while I was driving my motorcycle, I actually laid the thing down because I thought my head would be severed. They had a good laugh.
Then there was the time when someone put a dummy out in the road all dressed up and bloody, man, I really freaked out and even called the cops. I went back a little bit later to check it out and I noticed the hint of plastic. I kicked the stupid thing in its head and the wig came flying off. Yey, another good one! At least I had a good laugh and not a heart attack!

Sounds really funny, i really enjoyed reading it.

Good one, a little mean though :wink: . I used to stand on the side of the road where there were a bunch of really old wooden slats that were pretty flimsy. My friend and I would take them, get the attention of the person in the car, then break them in half with our heads. We got some laughs and some people clapped and crap. It was great.