Great jokes

What’s your favorite joke?

I like Yo Mamma jokes. But thats just me. :eyebrowlift2:

…lol. I found some of them amusing.

Any jokes that you really find funny?

Blonde jokes… Like…

Why does it a take a blonde 12 hrs to make chocolate chip cookies??
It takes that long to peel the m&ms…

What’s a blonde say after sex?
Are all you guys on the same team??

Two blondes are laying on a moonlit beach in california, one blond says ‘I wonder which is closer, the moon or florida’, the other blonde replies ‘well duh, you can see the moon’


two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks.


I love those jokes, which are only funny when you are stoned/drunk/weird.

A baker visits a man.
Baker: Do you have any bread, sir?
Man: No, I’m no baker.

Right now, it looks afwul silly, but when you tell this joke the good way it’s really funny :smiley:

I’m not very fond of traditional stand-alone jokes, and by that I mean the types of jokes that have been posted in this thread so far. They can be funny sometimes, but more often than not, people will have heard them before. I’m more into situation comedy, just single words or sentences that make a random situation funny for one reason or the other.

im just made 1 about blender:

Blender: Hi phyton
Phyton: dont try to talk with me…
Blender: Why?
Phyton:Because i will made an chocolate shake with you…

not too good but i tried it :spin:

What’s the difference between Robert Green and Jesus?

Jesus saves.

(Robert Green is the English goalie who embarrassingly let through a ball which he could have easily held).

-So a guy comes up to a fundraiser being run by an animal shelter, he asks “I’d like a hotdog”
-The lady at the table goes around back, the guy not knowing why it’s taking so long to get a hotdog, she comes back with a panting dauchsund
-The guy says “I said I wanted a hotdog, I can’t eat that”
-The lady says, we don’t sell food, we give dogs homes, this dog feels hot right now and resembles a wiener. (another word for hotdog)

You’re a joke. lol…

Here’s a somewhat corny joke.

A farmer is getting ready for the big harvest, he has 4 fields of wheat and has to estimate the weight, how dry it is, and how much he can get done.

He says to his wife “I know what I have to do, I have to estimate the total income from each field, calculate the expenses both in the catagories of planting and harvesting, calculate the estimated moisture content of the wheat, find out the estimated number of bushels per acre, take all of that on a sheet of paper and combine.”

If you say it right you’ll get the joke, and it’s not even copied from any books or websites.

Two and four female students in Tokyo street downbeat "Ugly " was ordered to leave

according to " coach outlet News " reported on the 25th , the University of Tokyo, the capital of two seniors in a " dinosaur sister Protection Society " in the name of the street making them strong as "the Ugly " the public have complained , the school under the strong and has two students on the " Expulsion . "
In order to quell public outrage , while two college students in the coach bags school 's official website posted a letter of apology , said that she does not consider the feelings of those who were shot was very sorry . However , local people still can not accept , the school and of the unbearable pressure, the final decision to drop action against two students , male graduate students associated with music also sentenced to one month suspension .
Tokyo Metropolitan University said that the two design students in May during the Tokyo Shibuya , Shinjuku and Tachikawa City to strike up passing through Beijing from that " just ugly enough , " the girl said because " dinosaurs Endangered Species ", so to Make a photo album will be followed by their disgust filmed uploaded to video sites , the two also said that it is purely for fun . coach handbags cheap coach bags

When your friend seems happy.

  • Are you happy? :slight_smile:
  • Yes!
  • Don’t worry, you get over it soon.

Ok, and there we were, Three against a thousand, with our backs to the wall. So we cut and slashed and cut and slashed… Those were the toughest three guys we ever fought.

lol, good one.

So I presume we’ll have to answer your questions three?

What is wrong when somebody explained to you how Belgian Politics work and you understand it?

They didn’t explain correctly…

what is really funny is how drugs make people retard.

what’s truly funny here is the common misspelling of Python n00bs always make…

ok, found one to share:

Sammy has stolen the rabbi’s gold watch.
He didn’t feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepless night, to go to the rabbi.
‘Rabbi, I stole a gold watch.’
‘But Sammy ! That’s forbidden! You should return it immediately !’
‘What shall I do ?’
‘Give it back to the owner.’
‘Do you want it ?’
‘No, I said return it to its owner.’
‘But he doesn’t want it.’
‘In that case, you can keep it.’

One may hate Jews, but gotta love their humor. This site got plenty of good ones, like this: