hair dynamics - weird weight painting

to have good moving hair strands is pretty difficult to achieve for me…
if the charcter is walking the hair is flying behind him like a flag is blowing in the wind.
so i had to set the gravity to 10. in this way i can have a somehow pleasing result, but not a realistic one.
So if there is any good tutorial about hair dynamics, please let me know…

now the actual problem:
in the weight painting i cant get rid of some small areas of wrong weights. i can paint everything with a weight of 1 or 0. but if i try a transition, those weird points appear.
in the screenshots you can also see what those points probatly cause… if the stiffness is higher, the hair is doing more crazy movements at those points.