Hell Explained By Chemistry Student

The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University chemistry mid -term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of*change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
  2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
    So which is it? If we accept the postulate, given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A

Excellent that is a very excellent answer!! :smiley:

Sweetness in a ball.

It’s funny, but I doubt that is was an actual answer on an actual mid-term.

What worries me isnt the answer but the question.

i don’t really know what “mid-term” means, but remembering my years in school, and some of those answers, essees etc that me and my friend did, partially to cover up that we had no clue on the actual answer, and partially just to have fun with teacher… this here is not that far off…

one i remember writing, was very long and poetic piece of how wind is made… in my version it was very nervous trees, that are scared all the time, shivering in the woods… and with this, causing air to move.
and how people like the sound of scared trees shivering, and they close their eyes and sway to the sound of it… pushing the air further into the city…
mmm… i had illustrations and everything on that.

ofcourse, i didn’t get an A.

.b

I actually know that already, even though I don’t have a clue where I saw it the first time…
And I do remember that I didn’t get the meaning of the question at all. It is a joke question if you ask me, what kind of serious proofs and explanations would you expect?

But the answer is definitely unique :wink:

Funny, but likely not true.

I think this person has over analyzed it way too much, you can find what you’re looking for in simpler terms in any holy book.

And here’s proof that it’s real unless some sad little child decidided to do this

Edit: Ok I jumped to conclusions and linked to the wrong “paper” instead of reading it first, looks like they have a couple… Albinoblack sheep did use to have (or still does) a scanned version of that^ supposidly, to show that it was real but i cant find it yet, sowwie.

On another note, it was funny and would have loved to have the question /reply back in my school exams.

I would like to say that this should not be taken seriously IMO, it was [email protected] to me and I found it funny so I thought I would share with you guys. I didn’t think anyone would think otherwise.

Wow, do you hear that WOOSH sound?

It’s the point of the story going right past your head.

Funny story, but sounds fake.

ROFL.

Ten chars

That’s freakin hilarious!!! This is most definately doing to be one of those viral stories. Nice post = )