I am looking for a brutally honest critique of my work. Do you like it? How can I improve my artwork? I hope to be posting one new work a week.
Did not get any feedback last week but with luck someone will have something to say this week! 
Thanks!
Douglas E Knapp
I like the work you did on the texturing of the hookah, but I feel that the composition is lacking. Perhaps it would be better to show more of the table?
How is it lacking? How would more table help?
Not as defense but it is just one object due to having just one week per render. I guess I will get faster with time.
Thanks for the input!
Douglas E Knapp
I think changing the framing will help more, Its full of empte space and to make an analogy you will rarely see a portrait of a stsanding persone with an empty background in a lanscape format.
I think I will not have added the table at all myself and just used a photography backdrop. But yes, if you add the table, you probably want to show more of it. I mean show some legs and maybe even foots. Right now it looks more like a wooden flying carpet than a table.
On a material angle the “cable” ( no idea of the right english word) looks like too glossy to me. the hooka is realy well rendered aint one part where the texture look blured but all in all its pretty good material wise. The wood looks ok too.
I read about free render farm that may help you for the render time issue.
Yes, but that does not make it wrong but I hear you and will take a look at changing. Here is a shot by one of the best photographers in the world. Look at the very last photo by Peter Hurley.
I think I will not have added the table at all myself and just used a photography backdrop. But yes, if you add the table, you probably want to show more of it. I mean show some legs and maybe even foots. Right now it looks more like a wooden flying carpet than a table.
Poor table is getting a lot of hate. 
LOL It is in need of a rework.
On a material angle the “cable” ( no idea of the right english word) looks like too glossy to me. the hooka is realy well rendered aint one part where the texture look blured but all in all its pretty good material wise. The wood looks ok too.
Thanks, I feel you are right on here. That cable is a pain. It is woven and really hard to model well. I will try it with less glossy.
I read about free render farm that may help you for the render time issue.
What render time problems? But thanks for the input!!
I apparently misinterpreted this line “having just one week per render”. I’m not realy good with forein languages.
I agree that the best photographer in the world can make counter intuitive idea work. Thats what make them great. Not bein one myself, generaly I try to think of the most easier way. Then try to go farther so I have a comparison point. the exemple your pointing is not what I was meaning but my english may have failed me here again, ( especialy now that I see the extra key I hit lol) I was meaning standing as in “the whole persone is in the photo”. Like if your hooka was a persone standing on the table and yes its totaly possible to make it work in landscape, just probably harder.
Composition is a realy tricky thing. In a documentary on a french member of the humanist photography movment, somone asked him on is unusual composition and he answered somthing like: I just try to make letters, look this one is a A this one a L etc… and omg! once you knew it you see it. He was one of the great of his time and entered since in photo history. He made his own rules of composition and it totaly worked. I’m ashamed I forgot his name since.
I mainly use the focused critic forum for my own benefits. Hoping that trying to think how to make things better on others work may prove a good intelectual process for my own atempt latter. In the end you may be right and, even if you werent, it’s your image. You make the choices.
If I was right in one point in your opinion, I’m pretty happy if it help you. If I was wrong on everything, well I tryed. Hopefully I’ll do better next time. 
I am from the USA and live in Germany so I totally understand. No worries! What is your native language?
I agree that the best photographer in the world can make counter intuitive idea work. That’s what make them great. Not being one myself, generally I try to think of the easiest way. Then try to go farther so I have a comparison point. The example your pointing is not what I was meaning but my english may have failed me here again, ( especially now that I see the extra key I hit lol) I was meaning standing as in “the whole person is in the photo”. Like if your hookah was a person standing on the table and yes its totally possible to make it work in landscape, just probably harder.
I set the hookah on the golden third line. Not saying it works but that is what I did.
Composition is a really tricky thing. In a documentary on a french member of the humanist photography movement, someone asked him on is unusual composition and he answered something like: I just try to make letters, look this one is a A this one a L etc… and omg! once you knew it you see it. He was one of the great of his time and entered since in photo history. He made his own rules of composition and it totally worked. I’m ashamed I forgot his name since.
If you do remember I would love to know.
I mainly use the focused critic forum for my own benefits. Hoping that trying to think how to make things better on others work may prove a good intellectual process for my own attempt latter. In the end you may be right and, even if you weren’t, it’s your image. You make the choices.
I would not post, if I could not take even the most negative of statements and your was nice.
If I was right in one point in your opinion, I’m pretty happy if it help you. If I was wrong on everything, well I tried. Hopefully I’ll do better next time.
I was fighting and fighting that glossy on the tube and then found it was in the image texture. LOL
Keep right on going!
Well I guess I was wrong about the glossy then, tricky one thoug having it on the image texture. 
I spoted it was on one of the third line, the problem I have is more with a lot of empty space with this framing and with this table mostly out of the frame. But japanese traditional painting for exemple ( who were not awar of third lines or older occidental iconic rules for a long time) make an expensive use op empty space. I have no idea how to do it right though.
The more I look at it the more I think the problem of the composition come mostly from the table, it show especialy in the tumbnail format ( or is it vignette) as it often do.
I will probably never remember the name or see this documentary again. It is probably not wildly knew as it was in french, that is my native language by the way.
Edit: One point where I think I am right is on the texture probleme on the hookah.
It look like a image texture problem too It’s distorted on the right part.
You may probably fix it by rotating this part to get the flow behind the hookah.
