If you are new to game development READ THIS FIRST!!

Welcome to the blender artist forums ,

You are the n00bie, and I am the all knowing forum troller!!
You must ask all of your questions the way I tell you.
You must not ask any question that someone else may have.

I have never made a MMO, nor have I made a FPS… Yet I am to dictate the way that they are all to be made.
I have no real gaming experience either… but I know a lot about the blender game engine!

My post count makes me into a professional level developer, you have no posts therefor you are nothing.

I am the most irritable asshole on the internet. You all must address me properly, and look at all my stupid lists to make sure you do not irritate me, before posting.

All questions must be in the proper form, that my fellow butt hole trollers all agree with.
We have all come to this conclusion on newbie conduct without a vote,because you all irritate us.

We dont actually make games, nor have we ever had any real game development experience.
Our post count makes us what we are.You are the noob so never question us.
We dont really care about your ideas or your game. We only frequent this forum to keep you in your place.

even though the forum header reads “Questions and Discussion regarding the Blender Game Engine”
It dose not really mean that, it really means, that you are the noob, and you need to STFU, and read the stickies, and the rules.
Then after that, still shut up, because you have nothing to say that we already do not know.
The header is just a trick to get you to speak up… that way we can slap you down to your stupid newbie level, before you get any real development done.

now that you understand the forum rules, get back in line… we need to do a cavity search!!! some one has snuck in the Crystalspace game engine! We cannot have noobies escaping to the CS forum, where they will be allowed dignity ,and respect.

hope you have enjoyed this satire. :smiley:


What are the guidelines for how to ask a question, oh Master of Blender Mmph!?

'bout time someone took charge 'round 'ere.

My wife makes me call her Sir sometimes :frowning:
She ties me up, and feeds me grapes and mashed potatoes with a sling shot from across the room.
I respect her for this, and we have had many many happy years together :smiley:
She definitely “wears the pants in the family.”
(although sometimes she makes me wear her soiled underwear to work :frowning: )

You guys can just call me Mmph,mmph, or Mmphie if you wish.

Hi Mmphie - I’m kbot

hey i am vincimus and I use truevision3d external engine. I also use vb.net

I see some flaws in this.

1). Some people have very few posts and are very skilled in game development and Blender, your post count argument is null and void.
2). You treat newbies that way and they’d be running away from this forum like headless chickens telling everyone you’re not very nice.
3). Are you the most trusted or mature guy on this forum, there was a small period where you posted edgy images in half of your posts even in News & Discussion.
4). Your campaign for CS is acting like you want to kill the BGE and steal all of its users away, Jorrit must be giving you a hefty salary.
5). Why should I address you properly or anyone else just because of your wife.
Everyone listen to your forum’s Dragon for once, have Plant Person or OTO post a READ THIS for newbies.

Oh, just read this is a satire, I still made good points.

Cheers CD - 'bout time someone took charge of this thread
PS - can I call you CD ?

I don’t understand the point of this thread. It is pretty trollish in its own right. Can it be made more eloquent, or can someone explain it to me.

He is just fuming because someone called him an elitist…

I’m not sure trolling of this nature can be made eloquent. Mmph! is coming out as a troll, and attempting to molify the moderators by claiming it’s satire.

Now now, Being a troll isn’t something that you can choose to be. You’re born a troll. All they demand is equal rights and privileges as the rest of us decent, rule-abiding forum dwellers. Is that too much to ask?

Personally, i am proud of Mmph and his brave decision to come out about his trollish ways. We could all learn a thing or two from his example.

while mmph might claim to be superior to you all he is unfortunately not his post count only means his fingers can move faster than his mind. He claims that he is better because he is a troll (more posts) however i have been here just as long as he and i don’t even have near as many posts as him and that is because i belong to the superior breed known as the lurker. I read almost all posts therefore i know more than mmph, i only respond when necessary ; therefore, you should listen to me for my responses are full of knowledge mmph’s are full of stupidity hence the name troll. Trolls have never been known to be smart don’t listen to him. On the contrary we lurkers are superior and know all for instance if you wish to make a game using blender i have one word for you

Python-Ogre best rendering engine i have ever seen.

The lurker has spoken. You should listen

also look at this

Plus my pc is better than his


I don’t really think anyone is a troll here. I’ve seen some odd bickering, but this place is tame like a kitten compared to some of the hijinks that ensue on some other boards. But this was satire, not actual trolling. I thought it was pretty funny, honestly. Funny with a point.

Someone will either take advice or not. I doubt post-count goes very far into someone’s decision whether or not to listen to someone. I doubt, as well, that many people think their own post count somehow makes them more important, or gives their opinion more weight. I don’t venture much into the game engine forum as i haven’t been using that aspect of Blender much, but you don’t really need to have a lot of experience making games to know a thing or two about game design. I’ve never MADE a game, but i know a lot about how they’re made and how the industry works. You can choose to take someone’s advice or not as you see fit. It does no good to get defensive about negative comments. All that does it keep the argument going.

/* EDIT - i’m taking this thread way too seriously, aren’t i? FISH SLAPPING DANCE!!!

lol yeah you are taking it to seriously

Well, this thread does have a purpose I guess. It tells us how many people read every last word of a long post, and how many people know what a satire is.

Unfortunately, like most impersonation satires, this has a high chance of offending people. Plus it has bad language in it, which instantly makes it less funny (and of course less desirable in a public forum). As a way to let off steam, it works, but don’t be surprised if this thread is locked, ok?