well, first, it look nice. if it’s going to be presentation, I wouldn’t put TOO much stuff in there, so that’s why it looks quite nice, already.
about the camera movements… I would loose the starting corridor… there is nothing there to look at before the first turn, so it’s kind of useless? also, try different camera paths, because the current one is too fast to look at the pictures on the walls, and still concentrates too much on look at those, so that you dont get the “big picture” of how the place looks like…
have you tried a camera circulating the place, like now, but looking more at the centrum, or opposite wall?? maybe a bit like spiral, rising to the second floor?