Leave your sanity at the door....

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Okay, so I kind of like this girl, and am unsure of how to go about asking her out. She was flirtatious with me before, but now sort of died down. I am interested in flirting with her now and making an attempt at a relationship. So yeah, I am pathetic, but hey, what the hell.

So she had a little fire burning and it died out because you didn’t act. We’ve all been there, so don’t feel bad :wink:
You’ll have to relight that fire by initiating flirtation, very light of course. To put it in another context: flirting is like a dance where you have to move two steps forward and one step back. Don’t go heavy on her, just be light and focus on having good times. Take her hand and lead her to those good times :slight_smile:
Be careful for jealousy; it is a bad thing so if anything happens, don’t show your jealousy (by asking her where she went out with Jason, for instance). Give her some space to breathe (the step back) and generally leave her in doubt as to your feelings for her (we all like the excitement of that doubt, girls are masters in creating it which is why we guys are easy prey :p).
And if it makes you feel any better: few guys actually have a clue but most prefer not to ask for any advice so their ego can remain proud of itself (and remain ignorant).

Happy hunting! :smiley:

pathetic mayn!!!nah im jus playin…well mayn…first get a phone number…then get something you have in common…something you guyz can talk bout alot…then get closer and start talking bout deeper thingz…then ask her out…presto…u got a gurl…good luck LOSER…nah im jus playin…seriously try what i told you…alwayz works…i seriously wish u the best of luck…:slight_smile:

cw’s got the nail on the head there… only thing he didn’t mention: don’t be nervous!

it’s natural for males to get nervous around girls they like (or even girls they don’t like, as long as they’re good-looking), but as Charlesworth pointed out in some other thread, girls can sense nervousness, and it’s a turn off. don’t act chill, be chill. it’s like zen… chill zen… anyways, follow cw’s advice, act natural, and you’ve got yourself a lady.

and by the way, if you get into a conversation with her, don’t talk about yourself too much, ask her questions about her life instead.

hopefully i got it right there.

Framedworld, I got balls of steel, I can go up to the hottest girl and get her number, ask her out to eat, take her out to a movie. Now girls I like are a different story, they’re opinion of me is valued more, so I am more cautious and being aware of my own faults and dirt makes me feel insecure and so I’m nerveous around the girl I like, I’m sure every guy gets this (and yes my hands start to ache). I am able to ask a girl I like out though. I liked this one girl Amanda, I asked her if she’d like to go out to eat with me, she said “sure, I’d love for you to take me out.”. THen I asked her if after that she’d like to go to the lake and look at the stars and she said “sure, I’d love to be alone with you”. Honestly, we had the time of our lives, I saw the biggest shooting star I’ve ever seen that night and she saw the first shooting star she’s ever seen. And ya know what, she had no interest in me at all, makes no sense right? Seriously though we had a great time, I just got the balls to face my fear and do it. So try that, start small first though, ask her if she’d like to grab a cappuchino and you can bring your laptop and show her your work, then maybe see if she’d like to go see a movie or out to eat or something, call her about every 2 or 3 days, girls love to text mesage also, so text something funny every 2 or 3 days. It’s best to ease your way into a relationship if you feel a little insecure.
Hope I helped,

I’ve so been there. I don’t know how many girls were flirting and I was too blind to see it until someone pointed it out. My problem is I always act like a “friend” instead of something potentially more. Don’t do the same or you’ll be stuck in the vortex forever.

Yeah, but your not stuck in that vortex forever, it just takes one step out, taking a chance can be a great thing, even if your turned down, you still learn something from that experience.

:pThere’s some good advice there,:stuck_out_tongue:

you should write everything down, and make a script, then you should pull the piece of paper out of your pocket and read you pre-written script with all sorts of jokes in it…

honestly, there is no advice anyone can give you, except to just not even think about it. the more natural you are the better it is. she doesn’t flirt with you coz you are so tense around her. just talk to her, and things will flow.


Framedworld, before you take advice from all above posters, maybe you should look into their success rates :stuck_out_tongue:
Alltaken’s advice is pretty foolproof, though. I’d just like to add one point: don’t ever be scared to come on to her. It is pretty natural for guys to worry about getting turned down by a chick you like, however, in reality, girls actually gain respect for you.
Oh, as for my success rate… uhm… happily maried for 8 years and she’s considered ‘hot’ by most men (and me!)

…where I usually fail :slight_smile:

…where I usually fail :slight_smile:

Good points here Charles.
And Lua is wrong there somewhere. It is ok to be nervous.
Just be yourself, and eventually it’ll pass.

I can’t really give you any good tips, except, I used to be like you and miss all the signs. I actually thought that being friends was a good start, so I was always the friend. Then I met a girl that actually didn’t twist my feelings inside out upside down and leave me in a nervous sweat, actually I could relax, and what do you know, my first real girl is now my wife and I love her dearly, our first child is due early next week. 7 years of marriage and not a blue day, man I mean ( I am sure you guys think this is quite unrealistic, but it’s true) we are still on Honey moon.

Now I am not insisting you get low down and marry the first chick you lay eyes on ( very bad idea actually), but what I am saying is be calm, relax, BE YOURSELF, and learn to be humiliated and still smile if it doesn’t pan out.

And if you miss this boat don’t worry, been there done that type of stories are always great to tell when someone asks you a similar thing in the future. I feel old…

Honestly, if you’re not a bit nervous then I wonder if you really like that girl/women. I always feel a bit nervous at the very least and it’s a normal feeling when you like someone, like airplane (aka vliegtuig) said. But it is true that if you’re shaking like hell and sweating as if it were 50°C then no-one will really enjoy your presence. No-one likes someone who is intimidated by them.

@jackblack: pretty cool skill, but then again… the hot chicks are not always those you want. Who needs a walking cosmetic shop anyway? :stuck_out_tongue:

@FadieZ: been there, done that and realized as well that “friend” and “lover” are not two stairs on the same staircase but two different roads.

@Alltaken: why not write a script? Girls love actors, right? :wink:

@grafixsuz: Congratulations, daddy! :smiley:

okay, I think I have a plan, combo of what you guys wrote. I never thought that I would get the response I got. I guess I’m not the only guy confused about the opposite sex, I am going to take it slow, and use what I am good at: Humor and common interests(in this case art). Once again, thank you for your guys support…and as always: Happy Blendering.

Here’s another thing that girls seem to really like that a lot of dudes like myself also apparently forget: Honesty

My 1 penny here… If you would rather take her out on an official date date than get to know her as a friend… ask her out on a date… don’t talk your way around it, or be too subtle, just ask.

I completly agree with this one mayn!!!
Be 100% honest…n’ don be a playa…don cheat on girlz or anythin…be loyal to the girl you love.:wink:

Yeah, second that.

Oh, and as for the whole ‘be real’ thing…
If you look at yourself honestly, you may find that you talk to much, say things at the wrong time, wutever. In order to keep yourself from doing/saying awkward stuff, let the girl hear the one thing that all chicks dig.
Their own voice.

Seriously, no joke, you give a girl something to talk about(hey, herself) they can go on forever, and all youhave to do is throw in good comments, and actually listen.
Not being sexist here, its just any easy way to get talkin. Once you start feeling comfortable, you can get in on the talking. A bit. Not too much.
Oh, and if shes not talking much, feel free to change the subject, if she say something wrong, change the subject, ignore it, smile a little, or wutever will make her feel more comfortable.

Peace man, and good luck

This is off-topic, but why do you talk like that?

uh, hes ghetto