Malignant Spirits

(VelikM) #1

Malignant spirits have taken over my bathroom scales :o !
This morning I weighed 209 lbs, after a breakfast of 3 eggs and 4 slices of bacon, and a 26 mile bike ride (breakfast is the only meal I’ve had so far today, it’s now 9:56 PM) the scales say I weigh 214 lbs :frowning: . Does anyone know how to exorcise malignant spirits from bathroom scales :-? ? How can I gain weight with out eating and with lots of exercise? Have I found a new source on energy? 8)

(acasto) #2

Maybe you live too close the the HAARP project location !

(VelikM) #3

Now thats a paranoid thought :o it’s only 250 or so miles. That would explain the extra energy.

(blengine) #4

maybe, just maybe u forgot to remove your stomach rolls from the towel rack the first time u weighed in :wink: (simpons, haha) or maybe u didnt take yer shoes off the second time u weighed in…or maybe, its a government plot to break all the scales in the world…or maybe, just maybe, the government is putting a “fat” gas in the air that is making us gain weight just by breathing in a horrible attempt at population control, we’ll soon all be tooo fat to have sex! oh god! (runs fer cover shaking and crying violently)

(IngieBee) #5

First off, never weigh yourself more than once a week (not good for the head) Second, the body weight varies throughout the day. Exercise causes you to gain weight because you increase fluids in the body (man, I’m no doc, but I believe lactic acids etc… build up) You may have drunk water during exercise (for that much weight gain, I’d say you must have drunk water) but the body, I believe, will gain some moisture from the air you breath during exercise as well.

Anyway, don’t freak out, the flux is normal and if you keep it up, your morning weight will go down. (taken same time, before breakfast)

(pofo) #6

If you can gain moisture from the air, you’re either very dehydrated or you live in Florida :wink:
You do gain some water from the metabolic processes though, but that’s only about 300 ml per day, to be compared with 500-600 ml that is lost through breathing.

  1. pofo

(gargola) #7

OMG! Roflmao! he he he! you guys kill me! :wink: :smiley:

Maybe they where alien eggs and they keep growing on your stomach!!LOL he he he! :stuck_out_tongue:

[email protected] he he he!!! :stuck_out_tongue:

(Riskbreaker) #8

what is this HAARP?

(acasto) #9

High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program

It’s a project where they emit high energy waves into the atmosphere to basically boil it. This stimulates the ionosphere and allows them to study it. It is a university project, however tied to the Navy and Air Force, for possible technologies in missile defense. There is several proposed military implications, you can find out about these conspiracy theories by doing a simple search. However a practical use is for a type of vertical currtain for the missle defense system.

(gargola) #10

VelikM:first,we are just joking so you can relax a little.Ingie is right don’t freak out,it’s not good.just keep making exercises. :slight_smile:

(acasto) #11

I tried going on an excersise program, it was one of those “rollie-chair to fridge” plans. It goes like this:

  1. Roll back a meter
  2. Spin around to fridge
  3. Open fridge
  4. Do a spin/slide back infront of keyboard

It dosn’t seem to be working though. But I figure having to run into the other room for the coffee maker makes up for lack of from my first plan.

I’ve also tried an all coffee diet, but I all did was get paranoid, and my eye kep doing this half twitching thing. But the big mistake was the all coffee diet combined with and ‘aliens vs. predator’ excersise plan. After this you just end up jumping at any noise in the vents wanting to use claws you don’t have

(gargola) #12

he he he!!! let’s make something,you just keep reading this posts and laughing and in 2 days you will lose like 5 me,i’m laughing at this post and i’m a stick already! LOL :stuck_out_tongue:

(VelikM) #13

I just want this malignant spirit out of here!
I’m opting for a long ride (to Sutton should be far enough) it’s not like I use the damn scales that often (maybe thats why the spirits became malignant?) so I won’t really miss them (some times they move out into the middle of the floor and trip me in the dark) As for selling my body to science…maybe some day after I’m through with it. :o
I don’t think of bike riding as exercise to me it’s just fun to do, like hiking and skiing. pullups, situps and crunches are exercise.
My computer desk is up stairs so to get to the fridge I have to go down and back up again, I’m to lazy for that.