Ristin - A short film being made in Blender - Draft 1

Hello Blender Community,

I am a high school student in Colorado and have been using Blender for about a year. Attached below is the first draft of a short film I am creating out of animations and still renders that I have made. I title the animation “Ristin” after the main character.

***I would love feedback about work that I have, and suggestions about animations that I could add.

Critiques about the story line would be great too!

Alright, after the first title, there was no need to bring in a clip to show the character’s name again. When it shows the planet rotating and its moon moving around, you only need a few seconds of it. Now about this metallic machine in the darkness here. It looks like that you were about to show it in a different angle, but in mid transition you take it away. You need to make a decision on if you are going to show it or not. The character’s walk cycle needs improvement, but as you stated it’s only a draft.