Hello,
I am hoping for constructive feed back on my first lightsaber render. I am not per say looking to add more realism but to make the visual storytelling more interesting.
At the moment, I feel like there is not much of a direction… Is this supposed to convey a story, is it supposed to convey an emotion? Its that extra layer of the onion I am missing in this project and other.
Thank you.
Hello and welcome to BA !
Well, that depends a lot on you 
Why you made that project in the first place, what was your motivation behind the creation of that asset ?
If the point is about showing the model, maybe it’s better to present it out of context so we can see it better. If you want to take that opportunity to create an image as a whole, then yes you’ll have to think in terms of storytelling and maybe what do you want us to feel when looking at the image, but it’s not always mandatory.
On top of that, “storytelling” is a tool that can be used at very different levels to make your work more grounded in reality.
Say I take a photo of my wallet, there will be some coherence to it, it will probably says a lot about me and a photo of your wallet will told a totally different story.
Every little details will scream some clues about who is the person this object belongs to.
In 3D, since we make everything from scratch, we need to find ways of getting to that same level of refinement in our work in order to make stuff that looks natural. And since what we do end up most of the time in a story ( movie, videogame) we need to make sure everything is part of the same universe.
Say you need to design and model a knife for an indiana jones character, it will be very different from a cyberpunk gangster, or a military one.
Storytelling can/should be included in the design, modeling, texturing, and if you want to push it further this can be done also in the way you present the asset you’ve done.
And to get back to what I was saying later, if what you do is part of an universe, like if I’m modeling a character for a short film I want to make, then I should take every opportunity to give story elements. It doesn’t need to be a “true story” but every details should inform about the character and the universe he/she lives in. This is when storytelling is very important and someone should be able to look at the image and express all the intentions and clues that have been put into the design.
And sometimes the story is more a tool for yourself to build coherence. In your image what’s the saber is doing there, who owns it, how long it’s been there , stuff like that…
Thinking about that will help you to make sure everything is coherent. But all these story point doesn’t need to be explicit and clearly understand by the viewer, it’s more a tool to make things more believable and therefore appealing.
And in the end, that up to you to decide how far you want to go with that thing, how emotional you want the image to be, its not always worth and mandatory !
Maybe try to look at different artists that you like, or run through the gallery and look at what place storytelling is taking in their work, try to see what was the intent of the artist and how it’s conveyed visually !
Hope that helps, sorry for the long answer, I’m getting lengthy when I’m tired !
Have fun !
That’s a nice first lightsaber render!
As for the extra onion layer perhaps add another element. Perhaps a torn off Galactic Republic patch or a patch from the Rebel Alliance?
Maybe add a couple of crunched up beer cans? A wedding ring? Dunno …
Point being, create a dynamic relationship.
So, on the lightsaber itself … add blood? … scruff it up, maybe add a dent and blood?
…
Welcome to BA! 
An object doesn’t necessarily have to tell a story, but you’re right, it’s generally more interesting if it does. You didn’t have one in mind when you modeled it, you just liked the thing itself? Why did you pick it, maybe there is a story hidden right there? Doesn’t have to be a weighty one. It’s easier to have the story in mind from the start, I think, because it can inform how you model and texture the object, as sozap pointed out. But no big problem if you didn’t, you can let your imagination work after the fact.
If you just liked the thing itself, you could display it like something very much valued, not laying in the dirt. A collector’s item. Or a family heirloom. Put it on a special stand, or at least give it attention-grabbing lighting. Use a background that gives it context. It’s in a museum. In a hall of venerated ancestors. Or maybe it’s in daily use instead, waiting to do battle the next day, on the nightstand. Being cleaned, being repaired (that leather grip material looks brand new). It’s what the modern Jedi woman carries in her purse?
If you want more emotional content you’ll probably need to add something that implies it to the scene. A child’s treasured reminder of their long-dead parent? Is the object abandoned? For a long time (add more dust)? Did it drop during a battle (maybe some blood spatters)? Is it a sign for something (the war rages on, maybe some city ruins as background)?
The story doesn’t have to be spelled out. My favourite art makes me think about what the story might be, which is often inherently more interesting than immediately knowing what the story is. Andrew Wyeth’s famous painting “Christina’s World” depicts a woman on the ground, looking, reaching towards a house on a hill, quite a distance away, across a grassy expanse. I doubt anyone is going to guess the true story, but it definitely makes you ask questions, and it conveys a certain tone (which is actually quite different from the artist’s intentions). Lighting and colour grading can tell a story all on its own.
Some really good advice here. My conclusion is that it depends on the context of your ambition for the render, is it to show off your modelling / texturing skills? Where storytelling maybe less important, say for a portfolio piece. Is it designed to invoke emotion and feeling in the viewer of the image? As if it was for a book cover whereby the storytelling is an important element.
What about adding a fading emissive element, like it’s lost and dying slowly, but there’s some hope, so if someone was to find it, it may still be usable and brought back to life.
Hey,
Maybe you should remove blureness from your scene, I don’t think that it fits to your render.
Also you can play with your pen and devide it on two or more objects. For an example, you can take the cap of your pen (if it’s possible) and place it somewhere near and put it half-sand.
Given that it’s a star wars thing, it’d be traditional to have a (skeletal?) severed hand somewhere near it. 
Welcome to BA
I really like the render, but I think it would be better if you added some rust, scratches and any other form of imperfections to show that it has been in the sand for a long time, it looks way to perfect to be in the sand. Maybe even have a shadow of someone standing over showing that it has been dug up.
I really appreciate your thoughtful response, I made the image as a practice on the environment, and how it interacts with objects. This directly correlates to my profession that is pushing more into the 3D space where I need to focus on a single item and develop an environment for it to coexist in.
From your kind words I think I could derive a few stories.
One that really pushes the wear of time and how the environment interacts and adapts to what we leave behind. I add more sand and debris on one side of the saber to show its stubborn resilience to the elements. I think that also opens up an opportunity to show a duality on the opposing side of the saber. Thoughts welcome, but I will have to ponder on what that could be and how it associates to me.
The second story could focus on what pushed me to even consider practicing in the first place. The push into 3D has a from old to new theme, but the old isn’t really old, it just lacks convenience. I believe if I were to take this rout then the environment would have to go through a significant change.
Thank You.
Thank you for the welcome! There is some scratches to diffuse the reflections a bit, but I see your point. They do not immediately read and should be more prominent. I very much like your idea on the shadow.
Would love to! but I am not great with organic modeling as of yet! I’ll try looking for a hand online perhaps!
Noted, I will work on making it read more as a lightsaber instead of a pen. 
Wanted to give your advice a double heart! That is a wonderful idea!
Hmmm, beer cans sound intriguing question is between IPA or Pilsner. I see your point about a second plot point is needed to push more storytelling.
Cool ! Now I’m teased and looking forward to what you’ll came up with !
A lot of interesting points have been raised, there are a lot of ideas to pick from !
Now I’m super curious and I want to know what your’re doing ? !
Have fun exploring ideas !
I like the image a lot! I love that you’re trying to add story to your image. I try to do that all the time, so here are some things I think can be added to help:
A neckless wrapped around the handle or something of personal value to hint at the owner.
A char mark or something to hint at why the weapon is buried in sand. Did the owner die, lose the weapon, or was it intentionally left.
A metal object with a clear reflection of the surroundings so we know where we are or a different angle so we see something in the distance.
Keep up the great work!
When I “immediately regard” this image, I have to look for the lightsaber. It’s sitting in a very interesting but very “busy” background, is partially buried and thus does not stand out.
Instinctively, I reach for my “cropping boards” (two L-shaped pieces cut from picture-frame matting) and look for “the picture within the picture” and I think that I find it: a very tight crop which centers directly on the saber. The rest of it becomes “noise” that draws attention away from the saber. You want the viewer’s eye to mmediately identify and rest upon “the saber,” literally “at first glance.”
To these same ends, I would also consider making the saber’s metal a little bit more shiny as a way of making it stand out. (The eye is immediately drawn to “the brightest and most-contrasty thing in the picture.”) Both ends of the saber need to be highlighted in this way. Kick some non-white light into the area below the “leather.” You could even use a very tightly-focused spotlight which shines only on the saber to accent this effect.
What you want to suggest is: “Take a look at this thing that you just discovered – it is magic.” And this needs to happen “at first glance.”
I see your point, I have unfortunately been busy with another project and have not been able to update this image yet, but I will take your thoughts into account when I do!
