Thanks for the interest, and I will look up a tutorial on magicUV, but I ended up getting a trial of RizomUV and without even watching a tutorial on it, I was able to get FAR better results with its tools than anything Blender can do. There’s functional symmetry and pinning actually pins vertices (blender only pins for unwrap, the tools all ignore pinning), and a brush that can fix some* stretching issues automatically (actually the nose still required lots of more manual work, but even then it was SO much easier). (The face has a higher density intentionally).
(I did mess up the neck area a little, and the lips need work, but I’m going to fix it)