Have you considered trying to look up more references to use? Most of your references seem to be only used as guides to focus on your art style instead of detail or accuracy. In addition, your only orthographic reference is one that you drew yourself by hand, which contains many anatomical inaccuracies, especially in the shoulders, hips, and pelvis area. You said yourself that 2d art isn’t your strong point, so if you plan to handdraw references, you should study anatomy and practice more if you want to integrate it with your 3d modeling.
I took the time to create a rough anime sketch on my new drawing tablet (they help with drawing a lot) to help show the differences that your model attempts to capture with the anime style. It was pretty quick and hastily done, so there are still some minor errors in my example, but it should get the point across.
I believe that a large part of the errors made are a misunderstanding of how you perceive anime proportions. If you’re going for something anime-like, you need to understand the style and gather more anime references. Anime isn’t an easy style to master, and is still reliant on many of the rules that realistic human proportions follow.
For example, the eyes rest approximately halfway on the head, and anime hair tends to obscure most of the forehead, making it seem like the eyes are actually higher up than they actually are.
Also, the eyes are approximately as far away from the center of the head than they are from the side. The proportions can be obscured with the anime style having naturally larger eyes, but in your example, the eyes are too close to each other.
Another mistake is the sharpness and angle of the jaw. While anime does have a sharper and distinct jawline, there is still some roundness to it, and not just perfectly straight lines and angles. If you look at Rem from the third example link in your post, you don’t see these “four distinct lines that shape the face”. You see smoothness that shape the jaw.
The nose is really sharp and sticks out while anime noses are more smooth and subtle than that. You should edit the topology so it is less dense in the nose area. Also, the nostrils should go as anime usually lacks nostrils, or at least texture them on instead of having that dense topology if you want to go for an anime/realistic hybrid (which I don’t really recommend).
The shape of the eyes themselves look like you had trouble trying to decide between a realistic eye or an anime one. Perhaps you should round them out more and make the corners less sharp. Also try to get around to eventually modeling the eyelashes and pupil.
There’s a lot more that you can work on, but I’ve already said enough with this wall of text and I’m pretty tired, so I’m gonna wrap it up here. The main point here is to practice drawing more, and gather and study references.
