Blender Cult discovered

(PapaSmurf) #21

qfa. oh, wait…I just quoted your whole post…:spin:

(HouseArrest) #22

Well now I feel like an ass. Here I thought, being a noob, that I’d be accepted somewhere. I don’t even get a lvl in the Noob cult. I’m going to scream racism in a minute. lol

but seriously, yeah I think I’ve done one tut with suzanne, I’ve yet to make a chrome sphere (chrome rims I guess could fit that…lol), I haven’t touched water sim…yet lol. After i got the basics down the first thing I did was jump on “hank” and I spent pretty much my whole 2nd-4th months with blender mesisng around with him never once getting anything close to believable movement, at least in my eyes…plenty of family and friends loved it and thought I was god…not really, but I’m sure you’ve all experienced the same sort of “fanbase” for your shitty works.

(DichotomyMatt) #23

Okay too many names for me to keep strait here.
I am glad that you all have enjoyed this. Any part you wish to quote feel free. Any additional chapters you want to add please do so. This was like 7000 characters and the limit for one post is 10000 so I had to limit my vision a little.

Please please add what you will. Everyone needs to laugh at themselves once in a while. I have many renderings of Suzanne in all her states, I have the great chrome sphere array, water and honey in a box, but I never did the gus tut. My only saving grace is that I did not post any of them here. LOL

BTW no one answered my last question “Where is the magic render button?” XD

(tarkata14) #24

This is hilarious. So true. I am not one of those levels! I have done all of those except for the chrome sphere, but I’ve used Ray-Tracing a lot of times. I think there should be a Level 8: Cloth Simulator, and a level 9: External Renderers.

(DichotomyMatt) #25

Yes, Chrome Sphere is an ancient god. He came before blender. He haunts all 3D apps open and closed source. The power of Sims in Blender appears to sway Noobs from the Chrome Sphere. I guess I am to old. The only other 3D app I used was PovRay. Hand coding scripts back int he 90’s. So the Chrome Sphere got its claws into me then.

Please ye of higher Noob order and those of devotion to external renders add to this thread. Tell us the ways of the higher orders. Tell us the pit falls of devotion. So that we may learn from your trials. Or just write something funny.

(Social) #26

In all levels of Noob, there is a shared belief in a higher magic. A power called the Perfect Render Button. The Noob has heard rumors of this button, but finds it not. The Noob devotes himself to study of the Wiki and of the Tuts, still the button is hidden. They shout at their Poly-vertex gods, “Show us, Show us the way of the perfect render!” Alas, the gods are mute. (For you see, audio in Blender is too complex a subject for even the level seven Noob.) When the gods answer not, the Noobs shout to the world, “Show us, Show us the way of the perfect render” and the world answers, “There is no button, there is no magic, you must study and work!” The Noob asks again, “Do I need an SVN build or what?


Absolutely amazing.

(Genjix) #27

im not reading all that shit

(Okiphia) #28

So… who’s up for writing a book with me? =P

Kidding… but only partially lol… there’s so much that could be written XD

(free_ality) #29

Laugh. Out. Loud. Twice.

Very true, I love it. Mostly becasue none of it applies to me XD, But man, I remember those days.


(Cessen) #30

This is about me, isn’t it? :frowning:
I must be a level 2 noob or something…

Stop making fun of me!

(Lua) #31

this ought to be stickied :slight_smile:

(PapaSmurf) #32

Let us not forget to sing the praises of the level -1 (negative one) Noob: He who treads in, knowing nothing, possessing half ambition without common sense, proclaiming loudly “OMG I wanna make a MMORPG like the BEST in the world.” and seeking the enlistment of higher-order Noobs (and the location of where to download “this bender thing” and thusly wanders off into the darkness, never to be seen again. Let us call out to thee, oh negative Noob, to come back, and allow us to enlighten thee.

(TheANIMAL) #33

Damn, i wish i could give this a star rating.

(Ace Dragon) #34

Now how many Suzzanes and Chrome sphere’s have we seen.

And look on youtube, so many videos of fluids in cubes.

You got that accurate.

(DichotomyMatt) #35

I now pray to the poly-vertex gods that I may one day make a piece of CG art that gets this good of a response.

@PapaSmurf: I get the feeling you have seen too many -1 Noobs on the forum.

@Cessen: Sorry, this is indeed all about you. I tried to hide that fact by calling it a cult, but alas it is just you. XD

(CubOfJudahsLion) #36

That was really hilarious. Thumbs up.

Oh, and don’t forget the Unenlightened, who steps forth into the halls of the cult and calls out, “the thousand buttons of the Blender bear upon my empty soul like questioning eyes. Will you not blind and sacrifice the Blender, so that it will be unto me like Max, god of the Maya, and miraculously bestow upon me the powers of the Pixarian elders who invoked the monsters, the sea beasts and the heroes of great power?”

(Orinoco) #37

And Lo! We smite the heathen Mayan and the infidel Maxian with the Power of the HokkeyGooey and scream, “Fie upon thy layered menus and overlapping windows, for we have seen the ambient occlusion and know that it is good.”

And the high priests of the poly-vertex gods call upon the noobs to spurn all that is Maxian and Mayan, for new features will soon fall from the holy Temple of Amsterdam where The Ton (may his name be spoken reverently) dwells, like manna from heaven, as Blen Con rises in the eternal cycle of the most holy Devs.

And perhaps, it is whispered, the secret of the button whose name is denied by all who tend and nurture the acolytes of the Cult of the Noob.

(scabootssca) #38

Wow… That’s awesome.
^My Chrome-ish spheres…

But yeah, I give this 5 *'s

(oblenob) #39

AAGH I just realised that I have 2 fluid sims in boxes on youtube… My excuse is that on the first one I was looking into materials and rendering. The other one I was trying to get smoke.

(meschoyez) #40

Orinoco, just a little correction, if you don’t mind:

And Lo! We smite the heathen Mayan and the infidel Maxian with the Power of the HokkeyGooey and scream, “Fie upon thy layered menus and overlapping windows, for we have seen the APPROXIMATE ambient occlusion and know that it is good. AND FAST”